A sweat shirt message I’ve seen says humorously, but with a sting of truth, "If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy." How many families, how many lives have been bent, twisted, or rendered unhappy by a miserable Momma, or Daddy, or rebellious son or daughter, always demanding their own way. Sad to say, we are often driven to misery by the demands of others, or by the failure of our own demands to be met by others. We rant and rave or inwardly seethe and become bitter and even depressed over the failure of life to meet our expectations. So true is this that I can honestly say that most of the troubles I hear confessed are the result of expectations people have had placed on themselves, or that they have placed on others, or on life in general.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer put a label on this destroyer of true community and spiritual happiness. He called the destroyer our "wish dreams"—ideals and hopes and plans for a good life together, whether in the church, in our families or anywhere else. It’s not that it is bad to want a better life or a better world. It’s rather that we go over the line and begin to demand things and insist that our particular dreams and plans must happen for us to be happy. Wish dreams and schemes are thus the source of no end of trouble. It’s just as John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans." Our problem is that so many of us are busy scheming how to get our way that we miss out on the life God gave us.

And the sad result is that we think of our religion as a matter of finding a way to please God not because we love God, but only in order to get what we want: health, happiness, wealth, a compliant spouse or child, or whatever it is we think must be in place in our lives before we can be content. So-called faith is then just one more move in a lifelong game to gain power in order to get what we want. And ain’t nobody happy when we’re doing that!

Jesus saw this trouble in his day. Most of the thousands of miserable folks flocking to him were doing so not because they loved and honored him, but because they saw in him a magical Messiah who would fill their bellies, heal their diseases, and fulfill their national dreams of power and glory.

Today, many people are still running after magic answers, seeking fulfillment of their wish dreams. What magic are you hoping for? What are you demanding of others and of life or even of God? But if we’re looking for magic it’s no wonder we are chronically frustrated and even miserable. If you’re feeling unhappy, I have Good News for you! A totally new kind of life is possible!

A coffee mug my wife gave me years ago edged up on that kind of Christian realism: "Blessed are those who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed." At first that sounds like nothing more than a cynic’s beatitude, but if you think about it carefully, the truth becomes clear: if I expect nothing; that is, if I place no demands on others or on life or on God, and truly in faith accept what comes my way, then I may become deeply happy. Life becomes simple when I give up demanding that my will be done.

We listened to Jesus tell us about it in the gospel. In a translation of the New Testament called The Message, Eugene Peterson renders Jesus’ last words in our text this striking way: "Simply put, if you’re not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can’t be my disciple."

But how can we possibly do that? Well, on our own we can’t. Because on our own, apart from God, we believe, deeply believe, that our very life and happiness depends on having things our way. We Christians have an advantage, however, over the crowds who ran after Jesus before Good Friday happened. We know about just how great a figure he really is and what God was doing in him and through him: on the other side of death’s many faces, there was Life, with a huge capital L. We can become what I will call, "Third Day Christians."

Predicting his suffering and death Jesus talked about the third day a lot, because beyond the suffering, he predicted, on the Third Day he would rise again. He was, of course, talking about Easter. And I am suggesting this: in our quest for true spiritual peace and happiness, it will help us greatly if we consciously live as Third Day Christians. We can be Third Day Christians because we know about Easter. This is the promise that Third Day Christians take to heart and learn by experience: over and over after a times of Good Friday-like struggle and darkness there will be come the Third Day, the Easter in our life that is the life-renewing presence of Christ! Third Day Christians are always working on trusting God and accepting the life God gives them.

Over and over I have seen this principle this Third Day principle come true in the lives of people struggling with addictions. A spouse comes in to complain about their alcoholic partner. When I tell them, well, you need to get your life together first and then maybe your alcoholic partner will have a chance for recovery, they almost always protest. Why should they have to change—it’s their spouse who has the problem, after all! No, the angry one in my office has a problem, too, because their heart is full of demands, threats, and wish dreams that will never be fulfilled the they hope—by coercion or manipulation. The beginning of new life happens only when the one who came to see me kisses it all goodbye and let’s God finally be God.

Call it resigning as general manager of the Universe. What a struggle this is! It is exactly the Cross our Lord told us we must pick and carry if we are doing to be his followers. Kiss it all goodbye—your demands on others, your schemes to get your way, the things you insist on! Life is not about demanding that our dreams come true, but is about going with Christ on road to the Cross and Resurrection. Life, we could say, is what we receive as gift when we’re accepting things God’s way. That’s the faith of a Third Day Christian.

For here is the promise and the spiritual reality: In your darkest hours, when you think all is lost, and your life is over, when you’re caught between that kind of a rock and a hard place, see: the rock has been moved, and the light already is shining into your tomb! [my thanks to Pr Gene Talley for that last thought]

Glory be to God, it’s Easter again! Amen.